Love is a beautiful thing and it is more beautiful when the both parties in love are on the right track, I.e, they consider the feelings of the one another and try as much as possible to avoid hurting each other’s feeling both in words and in action.
Some statements and sentences are better left unsaid in a relationship as they can ruin everything.
According to Drumhour, these are the 10 statements you should never make to your spouse;
1. You are Just Like My Ex
Your spouse is most likely not to find this statement funny at all, avoid using it at all cost. Whether the comparison is positively or not, just don’t do it.
What will be going through her mind will be, if I am just like your ex why then are you with me? Or are you trying to say I am not better than your past?
Comparing your spouse to your ex is really not a good idea.
2. I hate you!
No matter how hurt, angry or upset you are, never say you hate your partner. Hate is a very toxic word to use on your partner.
Instead, try saying “I love you but I hate how you are behaving right now”.
Never use that statement on your spouse it will hurt them more than you can ever imagine.
3. I Want A Divorce/Breakup
Just because you are mad at your spouse, doesn’t mean you should ask for a divorce or a break up.
Don’t say this and come back later to say you were only kidding and you did not mean what you said. Well, if you do this, then you just hurt someone’s feelings.
4. People Were Right About You.
This will not make things better and can affect your partner’s relationship with others.
Rather, try saying “I feel discouraged about what is going on right now. Would you be willing to have a reasonable conversation with me about this?”
What ever your friends, relatives and family might have already told you about your spouse is true or not, do not try to say this to your spouse’s face.
5. I’m Not The Problem, You Are.
Such a statement is likely to make your partner feel quilty and defensive.
You can say “it’s probably both our faults, can we talk about how to make things better? Avoid making your spouse feel like he or she is the problem.
If you think he or she is at fault in any way talking about things is the best solution. Your partner is human and cannot be perfect, accept them they way they are.
6. If You Really Loved Me You Would…
Starting a statement with these words will make your spouse to think that what you are trying to say is that he or she does not love you or you have doubts concerning his or her love for you.
Playing the victim’s card doesn’t foster intimacy and cooperation. Instead, it pulls your spouse away from you.
7. “Whatever!” / “Oh ,Just Forget It”
This very statement sounds very insultive. It is a bad way to end an argument. Avoid using it as much as you can.
8. I Shouldn’t Have To Ask. If You Cared About Me, You Would know…
As much as we may wish that our partners can read our minds and unstressfully give us what we want. The truth is this can only be fantasies.
We can expect our partners to care about our needs but expecting them to know our needs without us telling them is unrealistic. Communicate your needs to your spouse clearly so you can be understood.
9. I Wouldn’t Have Done That
Even though you think your partner should not have done what he or she has done, don’t tell him or her that you wouldn’t have done such thing.
It makes them feel like they are inferior to you. And this is painting a wrong picture in the mind of your partner.
10. Shut Up
Some people are just used to saying “shut up” that they don’t even see any big deal about it. And they say it to their spouses nonchalantly.
No matter how you are used to the phrase, avoid using it for your spouse. It is like shutting your spouse totally out of the conversation.
Other statements and phrases you be careful not say to your spouse are; Grow up, Get over it, You Always / You Never, sorry but…, and if you don’t like it, leave it.
In conclusion, to maintain a good and happy relationship, avoid saying any of the above listed statements and phrases to your spouse.
When you are upset watch your words and don’t say what wouldn’t say when you are happy.
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Originally posted on 13/10/2020 @ 5:54 AM